sometimes in a bad situation

Last year, I was hardly productive and I did not accomplish everything I phối out to lớn tự. 2020 was suppose to lớn be the year where I made even more progress and hit all my goals. But it turned out to lớn be the opposite. That was hard for mạ to lớn accept & adjust, because I am the type of person who loves to lớn try to lớn control everything. And this was the first time in my life where I could not control everything. It was impossible.

Watching the news was draining. I just could not handle the stress and anxiety of living alone under a pandemic. All of this was foreign to lớn mạ. I thought that after everything I went through in the past, I could overcome this pandemic situation. I thought to lớn myself: well if I could survive breakups, dropping out of college, moving to lớn a whole different country and my family going through financial hardship, I could at least push through the pandemic. I was wrong.

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Online school was difficult 🙁 I was doing my senior thesis online and that was a challenge. It was also a sad realization that my dream of graduating and walking on the stage would not come true.

But those hard days taught mạ a very great lesson that I needed to lớn learn.

“Your problems don’t go away, it’s just how you khuyễn mãi giảm giá with the bad days, how you manage it and how you push through is what matters most.”

After being stuck in a rut for ví many months, I decided that enough was enough. I am done complaining. Eckhart Tolle said “wherever you are, be there totally. If you find your here and now intolerable and it makes you unhappy, you have three options: remove yourself from the situation, change it or accept it totally.”

For mạ, I was not able to lớn remove myself from the situation and fly back trang chủ to lớn Vietnam. Flights were only allowed for Vietnamese Citizen, which I am, but there was a lengthy process to lớn obtain a flight ticket, which I could not be bothered to lớn tự. I thought it would be inconvenient to lớn wait for the embassy, fly 19 hours and quarantine for 14 days, all just to lớn get back trang chủ. I felt that staying in my apartment and continuing my online school would be the best option. I would also be in the same time zone for my classes. There was no way, I was going back to lớn Vietnam to lớn tự my LMU online classes! Could you imagine mạ waking up at 1am-4am for classes? No thank you 😛

I just knew that going back trang chủ to lớn my parents would make mạ feel stuck, not challenged enough and too comfortable.

My parents tried to lớn persuade mạ that going trang chủ to lớn Vietnam would be the smart and safe decision. I guess in terms of COVID safety and hospital capacity, Vietnam wins for sure. But, the growth, the challenges and opportunities still remains here in America for mạ. It’s hard for mạ to lớn acknowledge that because part of mạ wants to lớn be with my family and spend every second with them. But, the truth is I have to lớn stay here to lớn grow even if I don’t want to lớn.

Now looking back at 2020. I am proud of myself for choosing to lớn stay here despite everything that was going on in LA: high covid numbers, closed businesses, violent riots, protest, political unrest and more. It was a stressful period of time but I managed and got through it, day by day.

Everyday was uncertain ví I decided to lớn change my mindset to:

  • What can I tự today, to lớn make my day meaningful and productive?
  • What is it that I can control today and make the best out of it?
  • What are some of the things I can be grateful for?
  • Are there some things I can schedule for self-care ví that I can take breaks after working on the computer for ví long?

And that is enough.

The voice in my head is a lot kinder, gentler and nicer. I have a better understanding of what I can tự and what I cannot tự in a given day.This pandemic is giving mạ a grace period to lớn look at my life and see what it is that I want out of it.

If you are having a hard time going through the pandemic alone, please know that you are not alone. We all are going through something right now. But we can always choose to lớn have a positive mindset. That is not to lớn say your problems and your pain will go away, it’s just that you can make an active choice to lớn be in the driver seat of your own life and not in the passenger seat.

#1 Spend some time alone to lớn try to lớn figure out what happened.

The first thing you need to lớn realize is that bad situations happen out of nowhere. You tự not expect it. You tự not prepare for it, it just happens. You can blame it on luck, fate or destiny. But the truth is bad things happens to lớn all of us and to lớn good people too, believe it or not!

You are no exception nor are you special that you get a pass from life’s misfortunes. This is part of the human condition. You experience great things but also not ví great things.

After the bad situation, spend some time alone to lớn reflect on what just happened. Spend some time reflecting in solitude to lớn make sense of it. Are you feeling sad? Angry? Hurt? Ashamed? Upset? When COVID happened I had no idea on how I was feeling. I felt a mixture of things. By spending time alone, I was able to lớn figure out how I was truly feeling. I was able to lớn be in touch with my true self and connect with my inner voice. I would not be able to lớn hear my own voice if I kept being around other people and going on social truyền thông to lớn kiểm tra on what others were thinking and doing about Covid.

#2 Take some time to lớn process the information.

Do not be ashamed of yourself that it takes several weeks or even months to lớn digest what just had happened. When Covid hit Los Angeles in March 13th 2020, I just had gone trang chủ from the beach with a guy I was dating at that time. And suddenly that night we were on lockdown. It happened out of nowhere. For the next few months, I felt ví confused, anxious and angry. It was only until September to lớn December 2020 where I felt truly a bit better about the Covid situation and my feelings towards it. But it took a while for mạ to lớn process everything that was happening in the world.

#3 Reflect on past crises.

When I am faced with a bad situation, I often look at my past and see how far I have come. I remember the time being on the plane and flying to lớn America for college for the first time. I remember how hard it was to lớn leave trang chủ and how sad I was to lớn leave my beloved family, friends, my grandma and my whole life behind.

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I look at the time where I was in Thủ đô New York and dropped out of Sarah Lawrence college because my father called mạ to lớn say he could not tư vấn mạ financially. My parents were going through a very bad financial period of time. My only option then was to lớn attend community college and live with my cousin. That only lasted for a while until I returned trang chủ to lớn Vietnam. I felt lượt thích a failure. I then convinced my parents to lớn go back to lớn America and to lớn study in California.

I also look back at the difficult roommates, landlords I had to lớn khuyễn mãi giảm giá with. The numerous times I changed my major, and all those years feeling alone, isolated in a new country with not a lot of friends.

All these challenges and obstacles that I faced made mạ more humble. From these past lessons, I learned that when a bad situation happens if I just persevere through the storm with patience, kindness and hard work I know I will make it out alive.

#4 Remove the “I am a good person why is this happening to lớn me?” mentality.

My goodness if I told you the amount of times I felt lượt thích this the past year, you would laugh at mạ. But that is the truth. The whole “I am a good person and no deserving of anything less!” mentality does not save you from your problems, it actually hurts you more.

Instead embrace change, be humble and accept the fact that we all go through things and have problems.

It’s just how you look at it and make a choice to lớn move forward.

#5 Figure out the life lesson.

Is there a life lesson out of this bad situation? Am I supposed to lớn be learning something? What can I make out of this situation?

I believe there are lessons that can be learned from every type of situation you encounter.

#6 Ask yourself how someone you respect would handle this situation.

Sometimes it just takes you envisioning how someone else would behave and khuyễn mãi giảm giá with a bad situation, for you to lớn get out of your own head. Who are some of your role models that you admire that went through challenging times? How did they handle it?

#7 Keep going tự not give up.

You know that saying when life gives you lemon you make lemonade? Yes, well I suggest you keep on making a lot of lemonade. Keep making the best out of the situation you are in. Do not give up. Even when you want to lớn, just keep going. You will surprise yourself and see how strong you are when you decide not to lớn give up.

As we navigate 2021, my goal is to lớn put one foot in front of the other and keep going. Even if I cannot see the over goal clearly right now, I strive to lớn push forward.

If you need more help and guidance, I am offering 30 min miễn phí consultations on Zoom.

My goal is to lớn help you find clarity and meaning about your own college journey and help you tackle any questions you have regarding studying, working and living abroad.

You can tương tác mạ here to lớn book with mạ and send mạ any questions you have.

Sometimes a blog post cannot address everything but a quick 30min Zoom Hotline can address a lot of your concerns, questions and worries.

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Don’t worry there is no contract or anything! This 30min zoom Hotline is to lớn serve you and your needs. Even if you might not have any questions related to lớn college but want to lớn get a glimpse of what life is lượt thích in America or any other questions, I am an open book.

Thank you ví much for taking the time to lớn read this blog post.

I hope you enjoyed this and found it helpful. I look forward to lớn meeting you and helping you 🙂